The Spirit of the Staircase

[clayhornik]

Yesterday, a co-worker told me she couldn't win with me.
I didn't say anything.
I wish I'd said:
"No, you can't." or
"It's not that you can't win, it's just that we're not playing in the same league." or
"That's because I cheat."

I didn't actually say any of these things... in an effort to make for a more peaceful workplace. Because one of us has to try.
--
I did, however, get to deliver my Necronomicon lecture the other day. "It's made up, a fictional prop, etc..."
The youth insisted it was real, so I brought out the big guns:
"I suppose you think The Blair Witch Project was a documentary too, right?"
There are people out there who hate me for stuff like that.

Comments

[scanner-darkly.livejournal.com]

Wait. The Necronomicon's not real?



...crap.

[francis-clay.livejournal.com]

Well, not the edition they were looking at, no. "Which edition are you looking for?" is the first question I ask them after they ask for the book.
"What?"
"English, Greek, or Arabic? The Necronomicon, or the original Al Azif? Golden Goblin or Simon edition?"
I'm never sure who's weirded out more, my co-workers or the customer.
--
Then there was the guy who wanted the "spells book." I said "like wiccan?" and he said "no..." and seemed a little uncomfortable with the idea of spells anyway. So I said "ah, ok... non-wiccan, non-pagan spell books. Gotcha." I showed him New Age and just walked away.

[strega42.livejournal.com]

OOOH! Can I get a real copy of the Necronomicon? Bound in genuine simulated humahide? With my name in 14 karat gold-like tooling? Guaranteed to be an heirloom to pass on to my children, should I live so long?

*snicker*

You're reminding me of an ijit I knew in California who wanted me to teach him magic. Real magic. Like "Fireball". Or "Lightning bolt".

[boyfacedgirl.livejournal.com]

you coulda told him to drink gasoline

I know, its been awhile, since I been round these parts.

[theorgangardens.livejournal.com]

Good Job.

There are people who think The Blair Witch Project is real?!

Re: I know, its been awhile, since I been round these parts.

[francis-clay.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how bad it it this late in the game, but during the hype period, I had a helluva time convincing people it wasn't real when they'd come in looking for a book on the subject. Sigh. Next stop... Amityville.

The best lies contain a seed of truth

[boyfacedgirl.livejournal.com]

The Ars Magna of Girolamo Cardano is a 16th C manuscript which was a matter of great dispute between the great magicians of the Italian rennaissance. I'm sure you'll embellish wildly on what its about, but its still in print. You might make a sale, and some idiot with very narrow ideas of research might learn algebra.

There are others too, including one about optics that is revered by the Rosicrucians, and a movement called Lullism in the 13th C whith included a logical version of refrigerator poetry.