To the lady who sent me a prayer request:

[clayhornik]

Sure I'll do it. If you do mine first.
To start with you need a virgin puppy, a black candle and a knife.
Go to an empty field on a moonless night and light the candle.
The ritual is best done skyclad, not for any ritual purposes, but because the next step is messy.
Hold the pupy by the tail and slice down, from tail to throat (NOT THROAT TO TAIL- trust me you don't want to make that mistake) while chanting:
Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fhtagn
Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fhtagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fhtagn
Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fhtagn.
And I sure hope you say it right, because, really, you don't want to mispronounce even a syllable.
If we can get enough people to do this ritual, it will bring an end to all the pain and suffering on Earth as we know it.
Really.
In it's own special way.
--
Yes I got a prayer request. No, this wasn't the reply, since the woman who sent it is my Asst. Manager's mother. Originally I had planned on saying virgin kittins, but then I remembered how many cat lovers I know.

Comments

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

If you're not too particular about the age of the dog, I have a neighbour's dog I'd like to volounteer :P It has a tendency to bark and whine incessantly for hours when they tie it up outside.

Or just the next door neighbours for that matter...

Forget the dog....

[ravencadwell.livejournal.com]

Take some of the annoying rednecks out here in billsburg............